Understanding Grief

If you make good choices, bad things won’t happen

One of the more insidious parts of our culture is a tendency to view almost everything as a result of our choices. For example, when good things happen to you, it means you made good choices… but when bad things happen, it’s your fault too. Everyone knows that bad choices can sometimes have consequences. But…

Read More

Grief and the Overachiever

One of the hardest things when writing about grief is that everyone’s experience of grief is so different, and depend on everything from the person’s temperament, life situation and their relationship with the person who died. If you’re used to excelling in life, however, grief can pose some specific challenges might not be as troubling…

Read More

Experiencing Grief for the First Time

Although most people will, at some point in their lives, experience the death of someone they love, the first major loss happens at a different time for everyone. Grief is still a taboo subject in our society, and many people have trouble finding someone to offer wisdom or advice about the grieving process. You might…

Read More

When Grief is Anger, not Tears

Grief is not really an emotion—for most people, it’s a complicated package of emotions, some ra-tional, others less so. We think of grief as being synonymous with sadness… and thus think of tears as the most appropriate response. Sadness is definitely part of the grief package, but it’s far from the whole deal. Some people…

Read More

Why Most People Don’t Understand Grief

One of the most common complaints from people who have lost a loved one is that others in their life don’t get it. Friends and family have a tendency to make comments that range from awkward to downright cruel, and just don’t seem to understand either the emotional responses to the death of a close…

Read More

Who Am I Now?

Those who haven’t lost someone close to them might find it melodramatic when you say you feel like a part of you died with your loved one—but it’s not an exaggeration. When a loved one dies, we lose part of our identity, as a husband or wife, as a son or daughter or as a…

Read More

How Grief Changes Over Time (AKA Grief Theories)

There’s nothing new about grief—it’s been part of the human experience since our beginnings, and there’s even plenty of evidence that animals grieve, too. As long as humans have been experiencing death and grief, we have also been trying to make sense of both death and the grieving process. In my practice, I find there…

Read More

Developing Resilience through Grief

If you’re in the depths of grief, it’s probably hard to imagine that anything good will come out of it. In fact, post-traumatic growth is at least as common as post-traumatic stress—there’s evidence that many people really do become stronger and more resilient after experiencing a tragedy like the death of a loved one.  Not…

Read More

Understanding The Grief Journey

If you’ve recently had a loved one die, it might feel like your life will never go “back to normal” or that you’ll never be able to live a happy, fulfilling life again. Indeed, it’s normal to feel completely overwhelmed by grief in the immediate aftermath of a loved one’s death.  Grief is a natural…

Read More