If you make good choices, bad things won’t happen

One of the more insidious parts of our culture is a tendency to view almost everything as a result of our choices. For example, when good things happen to you, it means you made good choices… but when bad things happen, it’s your fault too. Everyone knows that bad choices can sometimes have consequences. But…

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After the Funeral: When Your Community Disappears

Immediately after a death in the family, there’s often an outpouring of support. Friends, family, neighbors and coworkers bring casseroles and offer to take out the trash. In the immediate aftermath of a death, our communities generally step up to surround us with love and take care of the mundane tasks needed to sustain our…

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What to Expect at the Funeral

If you, like many young people, haven’t been to a funeral before and certainly haven’t been to the funeral of a close family member before, the funeral can feel like a huge chore to get through, filled with potential pitfalls and likely run-ins with unwelcome family members. Or, you might envi-sion a room full of…

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Grief and the Overachiever

One of the hardest things when writing about grief is that everyone’s experience of grief is so different, and depend on everything from the person’s temperament, life situation and their relationship with the person who died. If you’re used to excelling in life, however, grief can pose some specific challenges might not be as troubling…

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Experiencing Grief for the First Time

Although most people will, at some point in their lives, experience the death of someone they love, the first major loss happens at a different time for everyone. Grief is still a taboo subject in our society, and many people have trouble finding someone to offer wisdom or advice about the grieving process. You might…

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When Grief is Anger, not Tears

Grief is not really an emotion—for most people, it’s a complicated package of emotions, some ra-tional, others less so. We think of grief as being synonymous with sadness… and thus think of tears as the most appropriate response. Sadness is definitely part of the grief package, but it’s far from the whole deal. Some people…

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Why Most People Don’t Understand Grief

One of the most common complaints from people who have lost a loved one is that others in their life don’t get it. Friends and family have a tendency to make comments that range from awkward to downright cruel, and just don’t seem to understand either the emotional responses to the death of a close…

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Who Am I Now?

Those who haven’t lost someone close to them might find it melodramatic when you say you feel like a part of you died with your loved one—but it’s not an exaggeration. When a loved one dies, we lose part of our identity, as a husband or wife, as a son or daughter or as a…

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Young Widowhood—Children

Many deaths come with a cascade of losses—the loss of hopes and dreams, the loss of specific traditions, the loss of your relationship with specific family members. When your spouse dies young, one of the biggest losses relates to children. If you already have children, you’re grieving not just the loss of your spouse but…

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