An Open Letter To Those Grieving a Covid-19 Death
April 2020
Dear Grieving Family and Friends,
I know you are in pain.
It’s difficult when someone we love dies.
And, it is even harder when we don’t get a chance to say goodbye.
I am sure it feels like you are surrounded by loss. Everywhere you turn, it’s there. It’s on the TV, it’s posted on social media, and it’s a part of every conversation we have. Loss appears in every crack and crevice of our lives right now. You can’t escape it, and it’s making your grief even tougher right now.
Covid-19, is a brutal disease and it has claimed the life of someone you love. There is no good answer as to why the person you love got sick and had to die from this virus. I am sure you are wondering why them, why did they have to catch this, why didn’t the treatments work for them, why couldn’t they be saved from this disease when others are being saved. Please try not to go down the unending rabbit hole of whys because there is no satisfactory answer that will be found.
I know you were not prepared for this, not ready for goodbye. And, that’s okay. No one is ever ready to say goodbye. Saying goodbye right now is more challenging than ever because of the pandemic and social distancing. You may not have been allowed to be by their bedside when they were sick, and you may not have been able to hold a funeral or memorial service. You have been forced to say goodbye differently and that sucks.
I wish that you did not have to be going through this right now. I wish that Covid-19 never came into existence and your loved one did not have to die. We are living in a horrendous time right now and the world is a frightening and scary place. I am sure you are feeling all sorts of emotions – sadness, anger, confusion, disappointment, frustration, anxiety, disbelief, guilt, numbness, shock, regret, emptiness, helplessness. Whatever you are feeling is okay. This is your loss, your grief and your experience.
One day this will be over, the pandemic will end. There will be treatments and cures for Covid-19 and the world will enter into a new state of normal. I know that it may not be helpful right now, although life will continue forward. That is true. And, you will move forward too.
One day you will begin to feel okay again. You will feel joy and happiness. You will be able to see the beauty in the world and marvel at the wonders of life. It is at this time that you will embrace the wonderfully pleasing memories that you shared with the person who died. And maybe the world will begin to make sense again.
Sending hope, possibility and love your way.